Building Christian Relationships (Message 7) - How a Christian Brother Who Sins Against Us is to be Treated

This church camp, we will study how to BUILD CHRISTIAN RELATIONSHIPS. There are 4 conditions we need if we are going to BUILD CHRISTIAN RELATIONS.


[This is the 7th message about the fourth condition]

Building Christian Relationships

1. A Portrait of Love (Part 1) 
2. A Portrait of Love (Part 2) 
3. A Portrait of Love (Part 3) 
4. That Little Piece of Flesh That Dwells Between Our Jaws (Part 1) 
5. That Little Piece of Flesh That Dwells Between Our Jaws (Part 2) 
6. How to Have Unity in the Church 
7. How a Christian Brother Who Sins Against Us is to be Treated 

How a Christian Brother Who Sins Against Us is to be Treated (Matthew 18:15-20)
by Dr William Harding (Professor Emeritus of Old Testament and Practical Biblical Theology, Biblical Theological Seminar)

Matthew 18:15–20
15 Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother.
16 But if he will not hear [thee, then] take with thee one or two more, that in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established.
17 And if he shall neglect to hear them, tell [it] unto the church: but if he neglect to hear the church, let him be unto thee as an heathen man and a publican.
18 Verily I say unto you, Whatsoever ye shall bind on earth shall be bound in heaven: and whatsoever ye shall loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven.
19 Again I say unto you, That if two of you shall agree on earth as touching any thing that they shall ask, it shall be done for them of my Father which is in heaven.
20 For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them.

How? In the manner which Jesus prescribes.

Step 1
Go to the brother privately and tell him his sin (v15)
'Fault' means 'sin'.
Don't beat around the bush, lest you forget to say it.
Do go PRIVATELY.
"gaining" a brother means winning a brother to a twofold restoration of relationship between God & Man and Man & Man.

Step 2 (if 1 fails)
Take one or more with us and go see that brother privately again (v17)

Why take more people?
So that they may be witnesses to the words this brother says (Deut 19:15). Then they may testify to the elders if something happens.
They are to also help persuade him (cf v17a, 'hear them')

Step 3 (if 2 fails)
Appeal to the church (v17a)

Step 4 (if 3 fails)
The church is to excommunicate him

He is to be dropped from the membership of the church. This means, if he is on a church board, he resigns, if he teaches, he resigns, if he is a musician, he ceases, anything to do with the church, ceases.
Does this mean we are to be unkind? Not at all because the Bible tells us to be kind to everyone.

This is a commandment from Jesus.

Step 5 (after telling the church)
Jesus gives the church the authority to excommunicate him (v18)

'Bound' means to prohibit.
'Loose' means to allow.

This means that whatever is prohibited in God's Word on earth is prohibited in heaven. God will ratify this.

Cf 1 Cor 5:13 and 2 Cor 2:5-10

Excommunication is done for the good of the sinning brother.

After Jesus says those things, notice v19. If 2 come together in prayer for something they wanted, God will grant it according to His will.

Why is it so? Why will the Lord do that?
Jesus explains in v20 - He will be spiritually present with those praying together in His Name (or in His authority) so that what is prayed will be in His will.

Building Christian Relationships (Message 6) - How to Have Unity in the Church

This church camp, we will study how to BUILD CHRISTIAN RELATIONSHIPS. There are 4 conditions we need if we are going to BUILD CHRISTIAN RELATIONS.


[This is the 6th message in the Theme but the 1st  about the third condition]

Building Christian Relationships

1. A Portrait of Love (Part 1) 
2. A Portrait of Love (Part 2) 
3. A Portrait of Love (Part 3) 
4. That Little Piece of Flesh That Dwells Between Our Jaws (Part 1) 
5. That Little Piece of Flesh That Dwells Between Our Jaws (Part 2) 
6. How to Have Unity in the Church 
7. How a Christian Brother Who Sins Against Us is to be Treated 

How to have Unity in the Church (1 Cor 12:12-26)
by Dr William Harding (Professor Emeritus of Old Testament and Practical Biblical Theology, Biblical Theological Seminar)

1 Cor 12:12-26

¹² For as the body is one, and hath many members, and all the members of that one body, being many, are one body: so also is Christ.
¹³ For by one Spirit are we all baptized into one body, whether we be Jews or Gentiles, whether we be bond or free; and have been all made to drink into one Spirit.
¹⁴ For the body is not one member, but many.
¹⁵ If the foot shall say, Because I am not the hand, I am not of the body; is it therefore not of the body?
¹⁶ And if the ear shall say, Because I am not the eye, I am not of the body; is it therefore not of the body?
¹⁷ If the whole body were an eye, where were the hearing? If the whole were hearing, where were the smelling?
¹⁸ But now hath God set the members every one of them in the body, as it hath pleased him.
¹⁹ And if they were all one member, where were the body?
²⁰ But now are they many members, yet but one body.
²¹ And the eye cannot say unto the hand, I have no need of thee: nor again the head to the feet, I have no need of you.
²² Nay, much more those members of the body, which seem to be more feeble, are necessary:
²³ And those members of the body, which we think to be less honourable, upon these we bestow more abundant honour; and our uncomely parts have more abundant comeliness.
²⁴ For our comely parts have no need: but God hath tempered the body together, having given more abundant honour to that part which lacked.
²⁵ That there should be no schism in the body; but that the members should have the same care one for another.
²⁶ And whether one member suffer, all the members suffer with it; or one member be honoured, all the members rejoice with it.

Christ also has a body made up of different members with different spiritual gifts. The body is made up of different people, regardless of race, baptized by the Spirit into the body. Every one of them has partaken of the Holy Spirit and He dwells in each one. Paul reiterates this. (v12-14)

4 things the Apostle Paul says we must do to maintain unity in the church.

We must be content with our own spiritual gift (v15 - 17)
Do not complain if you do not have a particular gift. Be contented with the gift you have, knowing that despite what we have, we remain part of the body.

Guard against jealousy!

Therefore the very existence of the body depends on the different members coming together in unity.


God determines our position and spiritual gift in the church (v18)

Setting the members (spiritual gift) is both about determining its position and enabling it.
E.g. If God determines that a believer is to be a helper, He will also give the gift of help to him.

Rejecting a position or gift, is resisting the will of God because He alone decides who gets what.

If every believer were to accept God's gifting, there would be unity in the church.

We must recognize our dependence on one another (v21)

"My deficiency is made up by your ability"

If every member is necessary, then even those who seem disinterested, or even detrimental, are necessary too. No one ought to be cut off. They may serve a purpose that God intended.


We must care for one another, just as we care for ourselves. (v22-24, key v25)

There may be some people in the church that don't have attractive gifts but God adjusts to give more honor to them so that the member can give more care to one another.

People serving in the nursery and pastors; both ought to receive the same care.

The consequence of this v26 - that if that one suffers, all suffers, one is honored, all rejoices. This is what ought to be done.

Building Christian Relationships (Message 5) - That Little Piece of Flesh That Dwells Between Our Jaws

This church camp, we will study how to BUILD CHRISTIAN RELATIONSHIPS. There are 4 conditions we need if we are going to BUILD CHRISTIAN RELATIONS.


[This is the 5th message in the Theme but the 2nd about the second condition]

Building Christian Relationships

1. A Portrait of Love (Part 1) 
2. A Portrait of Love (Part 2) 
3. A Portrait of Love (Part 3) 
4. That Little Piece of Flesh That Dwells Between Our Jaws (Part 1) 
5. That Little Piece of Flesh That Dwells Between Our Jaws (Part 2) 
6. How to Have Unity in the Church 
7. How a Christian Brother Who Sins Against Us is to be Treated 

That Little Piece of Flesh that Dwells Between Our Jaws (James 3:5-6)
by Dr William Harding (Professor Emeritus of Old Testament and Practical Biblical Theology, Biblical Theological Seminar)

James 3:5-6
5 Even so the tongue is a little member, and boasteth great things. Behold, how great a matter a little fire kindleth!
6 And the tongue [is] a fire, a world of iniquity: so is the tongue among our members, that it defileth the whole body, and setteth on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire of hell.

The Description of the Tongue

A fire (fire) v5b
A tiny spark can be the means to destroy a forest. And the tongue can destroy indeed! (v6a, a fire)

Sad thing that when such damage was done, it is impossible to totally undo the damage.

An embodiment of all kinds of unrighteousness (v6b)
A world of unrighteousness! Every kind of evil has been perpetuated by the tongue. Look at the 10 commandments, how many are broken by the tongue. Every one of them!

v6c onwards, James is saying that the tongue shows itself to be an embodiment of evil among the members of the body.

It defiles all the other posts of the body by influencing it to sin (v6d, staining)

How does the tongue influence the body to sin? By verbally committing to sin.

So we must be careful to make verbal commitments, make sure it does not go against the Word. But if we find out later that a commitment would cause us to disobey God, we must honor God first by backing out of the commitment.

The tongue sets on fire the wheel of life (v6d, entire course)

It affects every single part of life; destroying communities. E.g. couples, neighbors, church, business, school, social etc. Every part of life is included.

It is inspired by the devil (v6e, hell [gehenna])
Any time the tongue is an instrument of evil, it is being inspired by the devil.


See... This is why the tongue needs to be controlled.

But it is tough to tame, in fact, no one can (cf v8) but God, through the Holy Spirit, can bring it under control.

Building Christian Relationships (Message 4) - That Little Piece of Flesh That Dwells Between Our Jaws

This church camp, we will study how to BUILD CHRISTIAN RELATIONSHIPS. There are 4 conditions we need if we are going to BUILD CHRISTIAN RELATIONS.


[This is the 4th message in the Theme but the 1st  about the second condition]

Building Christian Relationships

1. A Portrait of Love (Part 1) 
2. A Portrait of Love (Part 2) 
3. A Portrait of Love (Part 3) 
4. That Little Piece of Flesh That Dwells Between Our Jaws (Part 1) 
5. That Little Piece of Flesh That Dwells Between Our Jaws (Part 2) 
6. How to Have Unity in the Church 
7. How a Christian Brother Who Sins Against Us is to be Treated 

That Little Piece of Flesh that Dwells Between Our Jaws (James 3:1-5)
by Dr William Harding (Professor Emeritus of Old Testament and Practical Biblical Theology, Biblical Theological Seminar)

James 3:1-6
1 My brethren, be not many masters, knowing that we shall receive the greater condemnation.
2 For in many things we offend all. If any man offend not in word, the same [is] a perfect man, [and] able also to bridle the whole body.
3 Behold, we put bits in the horses' mouths, that they may obey us; and we turn about their whole body.
4 Behold also the ships, which though [they be] so great, and [are] driven of fierce winds, yet are they turned about with a very small helm, whithersoever the governor listeth.
5 Even so the tongue is a little member, and boasteth great things. Behold, how great a matter a little fire kindleth!

v2
In many things, we all sin, whether we are teachers of the Word of God or not.

James then goes from a discussion about teachers to the tongue.

He will discuss about the Importance of the tongue. v2b-5a
Description of the tongue. v5b - 8
Uses of the tongue. v9
Improper use of the tongue. v10

Why talk about the tongue?
v2b - if we are sinless in our speech, then we are spiritually mature, and able to also control the whole body!

James now gives several illustrations.

v3 - Controlling horses with a small bit... Why? To make them obey us.

v4 - Controlling a huge ship in the midst of a gale/storm with a small rudder. The pilot can control the ship to go wherever he wants it to go.

v5 - James now applies his illustrations... Just as the bit is small compared to the horse. Just as the rudder is small compared to the huge ship.

Just as the tongue is small, it can do great things.

Yet, we can't control our tongue. We don't care what friendship is destroyed, what business is harmed, etc.

James is saying that we are not spiritual, matured people if we cannot control the tongue (cf v2).

Wow. Instead of always seeking to do good, to do better, consider working on the control of the tongue.

Building Christian Relationships (Message 3) - A Portrait of Love

This church camp, we will study how to BUILD CHRISTIAN RELATIONSHIPS. There are 4 conditions we need if we are going to BUILD CHRISTIAN RELATIONS.


[This is the 3rd message about the first condition]

Building Christian Relationships

1. A Portrait of Love (Part 1) 
2. A Portrait of Love (Part 2) 
3. A Portrait of Love (Part 3) 
4. That Little Piece of Flesh That Dwells Between Our Jaws (Part 1) 
5. That Little Piece of Flesh That Dwells Between Our Jaws (Part 2) 
6. How to Have Unity in the Church 
7. How a Christian Brother Who Sins Against Us is to be Treated 

A Portrait of Love (1 Cor 13:6-7)
by Dr William Harding (Professor Emeritus of Old Testament and Practical Biblical Theology, Biblical Theological Seminar)

1 Cor 13:6-7
Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.

v6b
Love rejoices with righteousness.

"With" is used... Interesting.
Note how Paul makes a contrast with the first part of verse 6.

True, biblical love rejoices when righteousness is done.

v7a
Love patiently bears all the troubles and annoyances that come to us.

Bear in the Greek means a roof, the idea that of a roof sheltering against the elements.

v7b
Love believes the best regarding the things that happen.

"Benefit of a doubt"

Doesn't mean we condone evil but we recognize it though we still must forgive on a personal level.

v7c
Love expects the best regarding all the things that others do. It is optimistic.

We expect the best and should be genuinely disappointed if the best does not happen.

v7d
Love bravely and calmly bears all sufferings and persecutions that come to it.

Do not retreat from our position of love!

This is surely tough thing... A battle of endurance.


--
Wow. What a difference from the world's standard!

Building Christian Relationships (Message 2) - A Portrait of Love

This church camp, we will study how to BUILD CHRISTIAN RELATIONSHIPS. There are 4 conditions we need if we are going to BUILD CHRISTIAN RELATIONS.


[This is the 2nd message about the first condition]

Building Christian Relationships

1. A Portrait of Love (Part 1) 
2. A Portrait of Love (Part 2) 
3. A Portrait of Love (Part 3) 
4. That Little Piece of Flesh That Dwells Between Our Jaws (Part 1) 
5. That Little Piece of Flesh That Dwells Between Our Jaws (Part 2) 
6. How to Have Unity in the Church 
7. How a Christian Brother Who Sins Against Us is to be Treated 

A Portrait of Love (1 Cor 13:5-6)

by Dr William Harding (Professor Emeritus of Old Testament and Practical Biblical Theology, Biblical Theological Seminar)

1 Cor 13:5-6
Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth;

v5a
Love does not act in an unbecoming, improper manner. It always maintains a proper decorum.

True biblical love results in good manners.

Example of the Apostle Paul of his conduct in the market place our in front of kings.

v5b
Love does not seek to please itself... cf 1 Cor 10:33

Love is not selfish. It doesn't ask, "what's in it for me?"

Live for others!

v5c
Love is not easily provoked by the injurious things done to it.

We will have hurtful things done to us but if we have biblical love, we will not be roused to anger. Take it in stride!

v5d
Love does not impute evil to the perpetrator. It's not resentful.

Love forgives on a personal level. ("personal" included to show how it IS to be done on such a level but excludes the punishment that follows a crime, for example.)

v6a
Love does not rejoice in unrighteousness. It grieves over unrighteousness.

Do I grieve over unrighteousness?

If I don't, have I become so hardened? So desensitized?

Love does not sympathize with unrighteousness.


Is that a picture of me? What does my picture look like?

Building Christian Relationships (Message 1) - A Portrait of Love

This church camp, we will study how to BUILD CHRISTIAN RELATIONSHIPS. There are 4 conditions we need if we are going to BUILD CHRISTIAN RELATIONS.

[This is the 1st message about the first condition]

Building Christian Relationships

1. A Portrait of Love (Part 1) 
2. A Portrait of Love (Part 2) 
3. A Portrait of Love (Part 3) 
4. That Little Piece of Flesh That Dwells Between Our Jaws (Part 1) 
5. That Little Piece of Flesh That Dwells Between Our Jaws (Part 2) 
6. How to Have Unity in the Church 
7. How a Christian Brother Who Sins Against Us is to be Treated 

A Portrait of Love (1 Cor 13:4)
by Dr William Harding (Professor Emeritus of Old Testament and Practical Biblical Theology, Biblical Theological Seminar)
 
The first condition - We must have true biblical love.

1 Cor 13:4

Charity suffereth long, [and] is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up...

In 1 Cor 13:4, Paul begins to paint a portrait of love.

1. Love endures an offense without seeking against the one who committed it. (v4a)

We will be offended many times in this life but if we have true biblical love, we will endure the offense without seeking revenge.

2. Love is naturally deposed to do acts of kindness (v4b)

Love does not look at a situation and go, "I don't feel like being kind but I'll force myself to be kind."

Interesting point. A part of the Fruit of the Spirit is "kindness" and "love".

3. Love isn't jealous but is content with its lot (v4c)

Note: jealousy can also take place because of relationships as well as over physical items. Be wary of the intangible factors that trigger jealousy.

Love looks to God and accepts whatever lot He has given!

To be rid of jealousy, repent and ask the Lord for forgiveness then seek the Lord's help in genuinely looking out for the very best good of that person.

4. Love isn't boastful but it is modest, recognizing that the credit for everything belongs ultimately to the Lord. (v4d)

Vaunteth = boasting, bragging

A braggart brags about his ability, importance or accomplishments.

The proper opposite of this ought to be the understanding that all credit ultimately belongs to the Lord.

5. Love isn't conceited but it is humble, recognizing that all that it has is by the grace of God (v4e)

From the outward boastfulness to the inward pride... Love isn't conceited; an overestimation of one's ability, importance or accomplishments; inflated with pride.


If any one of this characteristics is missing, repent and ask the Lord thru the Holy Spirit to grow that fruit.

Tag! You're it!

Just about every kid on the block has played the game of Tag and you know that once you have been tagged, you're "IT" until you manage to tag someone else. It's a simple game that is utterly exhausting but profoundly exhilarating! I remember playing it for hours... even in the burning of the noontide heat. Then lunch time nears, parents call out for their children to come home, ending the game.

Don't we all play "tag" in the game of Life? We love to label people...  especially those who have proven to be bad influence or made mistakes before. However, a problem arises when the label gets branded onto an individual. The label now becomes a permanent fixture and no matter how that individual repents or matures, he is still the "same old".


Just like us, the Apostle Paul has come across people of varying degrees of badness. In some of his letters, he names them (1 Cor 5:1; 2 Tim 4:10, 14; Col 4:17) and he did it out of love for the Body of Christ (1 Cor 5:7; 2 Tim 2:26). Yet, Paul was not one to brand people and leave them in their sin (2 Tim 2:26).

Let's look at the familiar account of Apostle Paul and John Mark in Acts 15:37-40. This passage is a beautiful picture of Paul's maturity and love - and example for all of us to follow.

³⁷Now Barnabas wanted to take with them John called Mark. ³⁸But Paul thought best not to take with them one who had withdrawn from them in Pamphylia and had not gone with them to the work. ³⁹And there arose a sharp disagreement, so that they separated from each other. Barnabas took Mark with him and sailed away to Cyprus, ⁴⁰but Paul chose Silas and departed, having been commended by the brothers to the grace of the Lord.

In v38, the reason for the Apostle's rejection of John Mark is mentioned - John Mark had left the group (earlier in Acts 13:13) during some missionary work. This displeased the Apostle as we read that he "thought best not to" (the KJV renders it "thought not good to") take John Mark along. Clearly, this was not a trivial matter as Paul's opinion of John Mark was not even swayed by Barnabas, who was faithful (Acts 4:36, 11:23-24) to the ministry and a long-time companion during the mission trips, and the duo had to part in "sharp disagreement". This makes me wonder if John Mark had done more than just "withdrawn" from the work and in fact, the NASB translates the Greek (aphistēmi) as "deserted". It is no wonder the Apostle reacted that way!


However, in Paul's later epistles... we find commendation for John Mark. Reading through Col 4:10-11, Philem 1:24, 2 Tim 4:11 - we find that Paul regards John Mark as a fellow worker, useful to the ministry and an encouragement to himself. Quite a turnaround from the situation in Acts! John Mark must have cleaned up his act and Paul had noted it. Paul was willing to overlook the past and work with the now, going so far as to consider John Mark an encouragement to himself.

This is something all of us should learn from - a willingness to review the old and accept the new. I cannot imagine Paul (or anyone else) treating a deserter as co-labourer, useful and encouragement unless he had that willingness. Paul might have forfeited all of the good that John Mark could bring if he had done otherwise, perhaps even discouraging a reformed John Mark to the point that he truly withdraws from the ministry. In the same manner, we risk damaging or losing harmonious, fruitful and joyous relationships down the road if we do not act now.

There are 2 things (more like really board categories) that hinder us from doing so - an unforgiving heart (It's pride, really) and a lack of discernment.

Pride
If we have been hurt or offended and we wilfully prevent ourselves from viewing the new good of that person, this is an issue of forgiveness, which is about pride.

Remember the Parable of the Unforgiving Servant in Matt 18:21-35? The message is clear: if the Lord has forgiven us of our sins and holds us righteous because of His sacrifice, how dare we withhold forgiveness? But what if the offence was grievous? Then we should be pursuing the path of reconciliation here.

Come to the Lord in prayer, be humbled and strive to be reconciled! Be willing to overlook your brother's past and begin to see him in the now.


A Lack of Discernment
The Christian Life calls for discernment against evil and we handle this well; we are on the lookout for worldly distractions, sinful pleasures and devilish lies but what about discerning what is good? We can be quick to point out a brother's fault (and we can do it properly as in Gal 6:1) but we are slow to appraise goodness.

We are not called to just discern what is evil but also to discern what is the Will of God (that which is "good, acceptable and perfect" - Rom 12:1-2) and to think about goodness (Phil 4:8).

It is sad that we can even be indifferent to goodness, especially in the case of familiar friends: familiarity breeds a certain kind of contempt - one that feigns ignorance when an old pal has gotten somewhere along the road of sanctification. There is a sense of smugness while wallowing in the mire of a "Oh, he's like just that..." attitude and we need to break out of it lest we become crippling discouragement . Indeed, we want to encourage each another (1 Thess 5:11) in every way possible, even in seemingly minute things.



Just like Paul, I want to be able to review the old and accept the new. May the Body of Christ be strengthened, edified and united in love, deed and in Him.

Remember: It is never fair to be "IT" for every game of tag
and we know that.

Working Relationships (Part 2)

Hebrews 3:13

But exhort one another every day, as long as it is called "today," that none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin.

Let's look at something detrimental to righting a malfunctioning relationship within the family of God - procrastination.

"Wait..."

This is possibly the most often heard piece of advice given when it comes to conflict resolution. It is like hoping that Time Heals All^TM would somehow occur in its entirety or at least, partial healing can take place... all in due time of course. Since this is popular practice/thinking, I've got some questions about this...

Is there a place for a time-out?
When should I call for a time-out?
How much time should be given?

These are important questions because procrastination seems to be a favourite resort especially when the going gets tough. In fact, the high frequency of (oft-times flippant) use hints that this is actually more than mere words of advice but betrays a prevalent mindset. Is such a mindset of procrastination biblical?

Matthew 5:23-24 has our Lord's instructions:

²³ So if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, ²⁴leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.

There are 2 things to note in this short excerpt.
First, it is apparent that our Lord pointedly expects the party involved in conflict to man up and settle the issue - by themselves.
Secondly, our Lord expects the same party to settle the issue quickly. I don't think that back in the day the gift would have been left on the altar for say... a week? No, it is clear that conflicts ought to be settled as fast as possible.

And we see a pattern as we look at other passages:

Matthew 18:15-17 

¹⁵ "If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. ¹⁶But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. ¹⁷If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.

Here, our Saviour lays down the Biblical precedent for conflict resolution between members from the household of God. Christ gets straight to the point and His tone is commanding - just like the passage from Matt 5:23-24.


Luke 17:3-4

³Pay attention to yourselves! If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him, ⁴and if he sins against you seven times in the day, and turns to you seven times, saying, 'I repent,' you must forgive him."

Again the words of our Saviour... and again, note the instructions given dive straight for resolution.

From these passages, I think the Bible speaks loud enough on this matter - It is clear that God wishes His children to work out the conflict kinks A.S.A.P and those who are directly involved have been tasked to bear the responsibility of personally doing the work. In fact, from this we can see that there should never be any reason for Christians on either side of a broken relationship to avoid/refuse reconciliation!

In the same manner, those on the sidelines should be ready to come forth to aid your fellow family members (Gal 6:1-2) by guiding them in the right direction and encouraging them to consistently work on the issue.

Be diligent in the matter by working on it with haste, lest a "root of bitterness" (Heb 12:15) springs up and causes others to be stumbled.



In the next part, I will look at what if a conflict just isn't getting resolved. How shall we handle that?

Working Relationships (Part 1)

I’m going to begin writing about a matter that is close to my heart. It’s about conflicts in relationships and it’s going to be in maybe 3 parts. So here goes:

Everyone gets their share of conflicts in life… Conflicts are an inevitable part of life. I only need to open the Bible and I find plenty of examples of conflicts and instructions on conflict management. I’m even told by the Lord that conflict will come my way. (John 15:19) So we expect conflict to be part of the Christian life and we ought to be prepared to support one another when it hits.

And I believe that many Christians are aware of this. We are ready to stand by our suffering brethren, ready to bear their loads and bear it long we shall!

What about that other category of conflicts? You know… the one that seems to hurt a wee bit more than the usual World-Against-I type? The brother-against-brother type. Fellow members of the household of God at loggerheads with each other. How about that category? Yes, we have instruction concerning this.

Pretty clear stuff too ya?

Except this kind of conflict seems different. Feels different.

I think it’s like that because such conflicts are unexpected. After all, the world doesn’t listen to the authoritative Word of God so we can’t expect respite from them. But for Christians, are we not expected to be bound by the Word?

If the Word says, “love one another”, shouldn’t we strive towards it? If you are at loggerheads with a Christian brother and you know that you are causing him grief, how is he going to “[offer his] gift at the altar”? (Matt 5:23-24) If we are His children, how can we have “His love perfected in us”? (I Jn 4:12) Are we not guilty of “vain repetitions” if we do not forgive others their trespasses? (Matt 6:7-14) And we know that God judges the heart – If you claim to forgive but your actions do not follow, how are you one of the “doers of the Word”? (Jas 1:22)

I could go on and on but I don’t have to because the Bible does go on and on.

Sounds real serious no?

So the call is clear – we are to love one another and if there are divisions, then we must work towards reconciliation. I don’t think there is a need to spell out the specifics/applications because I think the words of our Saviour sum it all up in Matt 7:12 – “…whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them…”.

Eh. But I’m okay if the offensive-but-still-loved brother treats me the same way I’m treating him. I’m into giving the cold shoulder & complete indifference manoeuvre even if he’s beside me and I’m 101% fine if he returns the behaviour.

Ah… unfortunately, Christ says “others” not “offensive-but-still-loved brethren”. He means “others” as in your acquaintance/friend/best friend/BFF/pet/family… and no, you will not like it if your BFF treated you that way, neither would you like it any better if your pet dog treated you like that.

Oh, but one may cry out… “But you have to give some time for the fireworks to fizzle out right?” After all, Time Heals All^TM really does work, right?

Part 2 coming right up!