Working Relationships (Part 2)

Hebrews 3:13

But exhort one another every day, as long as it is called "today," that none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin.

Let's look at something detrimental to righting a malfunctioning relationship within the family of God - procrastination.

"Wait..."

This is possibly the most often heard piece of advice given when it comes to conflict resolution. It is like hoping that Time Heals All^TM would somehow occur in its entirety or at least, partial healing can take place... all in due time of course. Since this is popular practice/thinking, I've got some questions about this...

Is there a place for a time-out?
When should I call for a time-out?
How much time should be given?

These are important questions because procrastination seems to be a favourite resort especially when the going gets tough. In fact, the high frequency of (oft-times flippant) use hints that this is actually more than mere words of advice but betrays a prevalent mindset. Is such a mindset of procrastination biblical?

Matthew 5:23-24 has our Lord's instructions:

²³ So if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, ²⁴leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.

There are 2 things to note in this short excerpt.
First, it is apparent that our Lord pointedly expects the party involved in conflict to man up and settle the issue - by themselves.
Secondly, our Lord expects the same party to settle the issue quickly. I don't think that back in the day the gift would have been left on the altar for say... a week? No, it is clear that conflicts ought to be settled as fast as possible.

And we see a pattern as we look at other passages:

Matthew 18:15-17 

¹⁵ "If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. ¹⁶But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. ¹⁷If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.

Here, our Saviour lays down the Biblical precedent for conflict resolution between members from the household of God. Christ gets straight to the point and His tone is commanding - just like the passage from Matt 5:23-24.


Luke 17:3-4

³Pay attention to yourselves! If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him, ⁴and if he sins against you seven times in the day, and turns to you seven times, saying, 'I repent,' you must forgive him."

Again the words of our Saviour... and again, note the instructions given dive straight for resolution.

From these passages, I think the Bible speaks loud enough on this matter - It is clear that God wishes His children to work out the conflict kinks A.S.A.P and those who are directly involved have been tasked to bear the responsibility of personally doing the work. In fact, from this we can see that there should never be any reason for Christians on either side of a broken relationship to avoid/refuse reconciliation!

In the same manner, those on the sidelines should be ready to come forth to aid your fellow family members (Gal 6:1-2) by guiding them in the right direction and encouraging them to consistently work on the issue.

Be diligent in the matter by working on it with haste, lest a "root of bitterness" (Heb 12:15) springs up and causes others to be stumbled.



In the next part, I will look at what if a conflict just isn't getting resolved. How shall we handle that?